Let's Get This One Out of the Way...

Ok, here it goes. My top 5 favorite TV shows (that I've seen so far) are coming atcha. Keep in mind that I have not yet seen all of "Friday Night Lights" or "The Wire" (I know, might as well just euthanize me now), which are both supposed to be A+ so, this list could change in the near future after I am done educating myself. Watch yourself now here come, in my opinion, some of the finest examples of television...

5. Happy Endings

ABC's Happy Endings doesn't get nearly as much attention as it deserves, but I'd say this comedy about friends living in Chicago is one of the funniest show on network television right now. The show has a cast in which everyone is a star and there is hardly any dead weight (except for Dave most of the time maybe). The show is also very GIFable which is a good quality to have. Also, there's an interracial couple (the best couple on TV), a gay dude, and a guy who's 1/16th Navajo so... yeah diversity! In addition to all of that goodness NFHS alumnus Jimmy Wolk pops up in a few episodes as Max's boyfriend... go north... raiders are tuff. I am trying to be optimistic but, recently ABC has been airing episodes two at a time on Fridays which is basically a death sentence (#savehappyendings). This show is witty and full of gems and I am not trying to guilt trip you into watching it but... you should probably watch it. 

Best Episode: Season 3 Episode 5 "P & P Romance Factory" in which Brad is a trophy wife and a teacup pig makes an appearance.

Favorite Quote(s): Brad: "Small typo on the word 'canal' and you're on a whole different family of sites!"

Jane: "I know. The same thing happened to me when I searched for a pair of 'black crocs." 

"Good news. Whatever I have isn't from that bird I kissed." - Alex Kerkovich  

“If Mary Tyler Moore married and divorced Steven Tyler, then married and divorced Michael Moore, and got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name Mary Tyler Moore Tyler Moore Moore Moore?” - Max Blum

"Nobody calls me ashy ever." - Brad Williams

4. Breaking Bad

Let's be honest... BrBa is kinda overrated don't you think? I really hate it when people who only watch like 2 shows say that it is the best show on TV right now because it's really not and to say that is just... tomfoolery. When I say "over-rated" I mean in the same way as The Great Gatsby and Shark Week... I mean they're decent and not at all terrible but at the same time I don't understand all of the hype. This is why BrBa is on the lower end of my list... hate me for it. Anyways... It is still a good show however, not a perfect one like many of people insist. Pretty much all of the characters are unlikeable except for Jesse Pinkman and Skylar but, what makes the show great is that it ratchets up tension week after week. Walter White, sickly chemistry teacher turned drug lord, has become so unpredictable it's unreal. If Breaking Bad continues to outdo itself with its cringeworthy violence and intricate storytelling I might have to eat my words, but as of now BrBa remains at number 4.  

Best Episode: Season 4 Episode 1 "Box Cutter" in which Gus Fring is fucking terrifying without saying a word.

Favorite Quote(s): "I pay my rent, bitch! I got civil rights!" - Jesse Pinkman 

"Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!" - Walter White

*Spoiler Alert*

"Shut the fuck up, and let me die in peace."- Mike Ehrmantraut

3. Dexter

What to say about my favorite serial killer Dexter Morgan? Well, the fact that I just typed the word "favorite" in front of "serial killer" should really tell you all you need to know however, let me explain myself. But first let's be honest, Dexter is a show that is very inconsistent in quality. On many occasions throughout the seasons the show has been off in the way that the story lines seem irrelevant, characters become random, lame and ultimately fall flat, and Dexter's inner monologues are illogical and take away from his self-described "neat monster" persona. But, let me tell you when this show is on point it is everything. What makes Dexter great is that it has given us some of the most disturbing villains on television (looking at you Ice Truck and Trinity Killer), it blurs the lines between good and evil (Dex is a serial killer who KILLS other serial killers fergodsake) so, the moral dilemmas are real. I swear to you Dexter and Lay's potato chips are one in the same. Betcha can't eat/watch just one.      

Best Episode: Season 4 Episode 12 "The Getaway" because... I mean... that plot twist and because I will forever be scarred by bathtubs.

Favorite Quote(s): Dexter Morgan:"No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason."
Sergeant James Doakes: "And what's that?"
Dexter Morgan: "I own you."

"You don't even walk like a normal person. You glide, like a fucking lizard on ice. You are one creep motherfucker." - Sergeant James Doakes

"Surprise, mothefucker!" - Sergeant James Doakes

*Vince Masuka's laugh*

2. Game of Thrones

GoT is not for everyone but mannnn THIS show. Game of Thrones is based on the A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin and after watching 1 episode of the show I was motivated to read all 5 of the currently published books totaling to over 4,000 pages so, yeah... it was that good. When shows like Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead get, in my opinion, so much undeserved hype Game of Thrones earns all of its praise. There are like 200 characters in the show with storylines that bob and weave in between each other, but each one is necessary. People criticize the way that George R. R. Martin kills his darlings because he's trying so hard to be shocking but, I think it is great and I'm all in favor of chaining GRRM to his desk so he can produce even more of it. Also, did I mention the theme song because... damn it gets me going.  

Best Episode: Since I read the books I have a feeling that the best episode is yet to come (The Red Wedding) but, if I have to choose an episode that has already aired it would probably be a tie between the episode that inspired me to read all of the books, "Winter is Coming" (Season 1 Episode 1) and the episode that is just all kinds of fucked up, "Baelor" (Season 1 Episode 9). Yes, I know these are the obvious choices...hate on my unoriginality. 

   

Favorite Quote(s): "I will take what is mine with fire and blood."- Daenerys Targaryen

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." - Tyrion Lannister

"Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the word will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister

"There's no cure for being a cunt." - Bronn

1. Battlestar Galactica

I could gush about BSG all damn day. The show follows a fleet that makes up the last of humanity as they search for a new home. Basically what it comes down to is a story of flawed people fighting for survival. Never have I been so affected by a TV show as I have been by BSG... this shit is deep. When I say deep I mean allegories through the roof (biblical, social, political, what have you), betrayal, life or death conflicts, and world-shattering discoveries. This show is more dark than it is joyful... actually I can't remember coming away from an episode and thinking Wow, ws that episode ever uplifting, but it will surely make you think and leave you in awe. Another thing that makes Battlestar Galactica great is the fact that almost every character is relatable and likeable (at some point) even the supposedly evil or villainous ones. On many currently airing shows you would be hard pressed to find a character that you can relate to or that you feel for (looking at you The Walking Dead). I guarantee that you will not have that problem with BSG. Also, let me launch into a rant real quick. Those of you who hear (read) the name Battlestar Galactica and pshaw at the nerdery, stop right there. You would be doing yourself a great disservice if you were to miss out on this one.  If you have a working brain you should watch this so, I suggest that you binge watch the hell out of BSG (it's on Netflix you have no excuse). I am rooting for you.

Best Episode: This was super hard but I am going with Season 4 Episode 10 "Revelations" because A) Edward James Olmos and B) we go from hope to feeling gut punched in minutes... and it's great.

Favorite Quote(s): "Sometimes you've got to roll the hard six." -Admiral William Adama

"Perfection. That's what it's about. It's those moments. When you can feel the perfection of creation. The beauty of physics, you know, the wonder of mathematics. The elation of action and reaction, and that is the kind of perfection that I want to be connected to." - Samuel Anders

"You know everyone I know... is fighting to get back what they had and I'm fighting 'cause I don't know how to do anything else." - Kara "Starbuck" Thrace

“You know, when we fought the Cylons, we did it to save ourselves from extinction. But we never answered the question “Why?” Why are we as a people worth saving? We still commit murder because of greed and spite, jealousy, and we still visit all of our sins upon our children. We refuse to accept the responsibility for anything that we’ve done, like we did with the Cylons. We decided to play God, create life. And when that life turned against us, we comforted ourselves in the knowledge that it really wasn’t our fault, not really. You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you’ve created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can’t hide from the things that you’ve done anymore.” - Admiral William Adama

"So say we all" ... obvi

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There you have it. Now I'm off to start watching Friday Night Lights so this list will probably be out of date in about a week and a half... I tend to believe the hype (sorry Public Enemy).